7 Ways Your Insecurities Are Actually Pushing Him Away
Are your insecurities ruining your relationships? Learn why men pull away:
Discover seven different insecurities that are quite possibly pushing men away and causing you from having a great relationship.
The first insecurity that might be pushing him away is what I call the negativity snowball effect. And this is where you have one kind of negative idea about the relationship, and it just ruminates in your brain. Before you know it, it starts with kind of a small thing such as he's not that clean and doesn't take care of his home, all the way to him being the absolute worst husband in the world and he could never be a good father. This is what I call the negativity snowball effect because it snowballs and builds and builds and builds on itself without you even addressing this externally.
The next insecurity is called the ex comparison insecurity. If, when you're in a new relationship, the first thing you do is go to his Facebook profile and try to search for pictures of his ex-girlfriend, then you, my sexy single ladies, are suffering from this. It's really easy to get sucked into that game. Am I better looking than that ex, or am I not? But if you allow yourself to go down that rabbit hole, it is almost guaranteed to push him away, especially if you bring it up to him, because he will think that you, my sexy single lady, are crazy.
Insecurity number three is he's too good to be true insecurity. Have you ever been dating a new guy, and he seems to treat you well? He's respectful; he takes you out for dinners, he calls you when he says he's going to. And you think to yourself, wait, no way. And this insecurity will always be stemming from your past. If every previous guy you've ever dated has treated you like or has been disrespectful to you, it is going to feel weird and almost off-putting when someone is treating you well. But I ask you to go into every new relationship with that fresh perspective. Your past doesn't equal your future.
The next insecurity is what I call the proximity insecurity. And this insecurity is the mindset where if he is not with me, then it's likely he's trying to cheat on me. You're thinking, if he's not close to you, then you don't have control over him, and you don't have control over which girls he's talking to, what he's doing behind your back. And the entire time you're just thinking, I need to get closer to this guy. And this is only your baggage from the past just creeping right into your mind and holding you back from actually having new love.
The next insecurity is the let's make him jealous so that he wants me more. Are you the type of girl who posts a ton of pictures on Instagram with you, with other people, and other guys, in particular, to make the guy you're talking to just a little bit jealous? And you may not think that this is toxic behavior because what's the big deal, right? But in reality, this behavior is coming from a place of fear. You think that if he doesn't see you with other guys and think that you're hot, then he's going to walk away.
Insecurity number six is what I call the fake confidence insecurity. I've seen this insecurity many times back when I was single. And it's that insecurity where people go around just saying, I'm hot. I don't need a person in my life. If you're a woman, I don't need a man in my life, because I am the best. And one constant that I've noticed over the years of studying confident people in their life is that truly confident people never have to talk about how awesome or confident they are.
Finally, insecurity number seven is the analysis paralysis insecurity. Does the guy you're dating say one little thing that's a little bit off? And you happen to latch onto that idea and start to think, wow, this whole relationship is falling apart.
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