How To Be Happy In Your Marriage | Lessons For A Happy Marriage Part 1 | Paul Friedman

What makes a happy marriage? Do you think couples are working together to make their marriage work? Watch Paul explain the principles of a happy marriage.

I would like to help you get back on track with your marriage and I want to give you a few lessons that will get you there. A lot of people miss the point of what marriages — they don't
understand it. It's kind of a weird ironic thing if you will because we all get married for the same reason, believe it or not. We all get married for exactly the same reason.

What do you think that is?

It's so that we could be happier and what do we do when we're married. We don't do that which will make ourselves and our partner happier so think of your marriage as a closed
container. I call it the sacred space of marriage and in this container, there's this huge community of only two people just two of you and why can't you get along famously.
Well, one of the big problems is there's a misunderstanding. A primary misunderstanding most people, believe it or not, and it could include you. Most people get married thinking that is the goal. Let's get married and then we'll be happy again and that's sort of the attitude that misses the point of marriage.

We don't get married as a destination. We get married as the beginning of our individual spiritual path. It's an individual path even though you're doing it together but you're doing your end without interfering with your spouse's and of the marriage. You don't collectively
get married individually you got married, and why do I call it a spiritual path? I call it a spiritual path because love is a spiritual thing. There are only two worlds you might say. One is the material world which we perceive and operate with through our five senses but love, our five senses are far below love so you might say that love is the guiding star.
It should be the guiding principle of your marriage, love for the purpose of being happy.

Remember, you got married to be happy and what produces happiness. What produces happiness universally? I mean everybody wants a bigger bank account. Everybody wants to drive a shiny car or get a new TV or a new phone. Everyone gets happy when they have those material increases in their life but those increases produce happiness like a blip, here today, gone tomorrow. Ask anyone from worker bee to a wealthy person. Ask them if they're happy with what they have. Most people will say, “Well, if I just had a little bit more.” And this is the realm of materialism, “I need a little more. I need it a little better.” And so it
becomes a pursuit of more and better.

There is no place where someone feels materially that they have made it, very rare. You hear about it but it's so rare. On the other hand, if you speak to someone who is a spiritual aspirant and don't worry I'm not getting you into some religion, but you speak with who has put themselves on a spiritual path and I'm not talking about marriage at the moment. Pretty quickly, they go, “I'm really happy. I feel contentment. I feel peace.” And ironically, you in your marriage are on a spiritual path but no one bothered to tell you. No one bothered
to explain to you how that works and what are the benefits and how to tap into those benefits and that's what I want to do for you. I want you to see it.

There are a few principles that are pretty important for you to get. Number one, the number one principle is you got married in order to be happy — very very important to keep that in mind because when you lose sight of that reality, what are you working for anymore?

What are you working towards?
What are you trying to achieve?

In anything in life that we do we need to have a vision of where we're going of what we're doing. If you're building a house you slowly watch it go up. If you're doing a drawing you slowly watch it take shape even if you're coloring in a coloring book. You're becoming
fulfilled as you move towards a goal. The goal in marriage is to be happy and there's an unspoken unthought-of goal that ties right with that and that is to be continuously more happy as the years go on.

Isn't this so?
Isn't that why you got married?

Let's stop here and take a look at this. Of course, everyone says, “No, I got married because I found my soulmate.” He or she was the perfect person but I'm not talking about that. I'm telling about why you got married at all. You got married in order to be happy. Okay, that's principle number one, A and B. A) I got married to be happy. B) I want that happiness to grow continuously through the years so that's principle number one, parts A and B.

Watch the video for more.

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